That's just stupid
by Someonesbaby987
Summary: Harry gets captured by voldemort and his death eaters and give him some type of drug but the order doesn't know what kind
1. Chapter 1

**Don't own! I was really bored today so I decided to write this**

The hairs on my neck were standing on end. I could feel someones eyes burn into the back of my head. Just walk faster' I thought to myself as I walked down the familliar road home. For once Hoping mum and Dad would worry about me for being out so late. I know they will! They think I'm weak, to weak to stick up for my-self, so they are always getting into the middle of my fights. Or they have my twin brother Justin stick up for me.

"Harry Potter!" Whirling around so fast that it could have caused whip lash. What I saw didn't please me, death eaters. Great. My life couldn't get any better then this! Sarcasm. Gotta love it. You know what makes even better they have their wands pointed at me. Fucking wonderful.

"Um, guy on the left standing next to the guy on the end, yeah you! Your wands back wards." He is gonna poke an eye out.

He blushed and quickly turned his wand around. Obviously he was very shy and... Who am I kidding he looked ready to kill me!

"STUPEFY!" Oh my god it's so red! Was my last thought before falling into the darkness...

**Dun dun duuuuuuuun Time skip**

"Malfoy? Did I get this thing set up correctly?" A harsh voice asked.

"How should I know it's a muggle device!" Another voice was heard through out the room. My groan alerted the people in the room that I was waking up. I heard some rustling and some one whisper.

"Sh! I think he's waking up."

"Gah! Where am I?" I asked opening my eyes to see a nose-less man standing in my vision. "Who are you?"

"ME! You don't know who I am! I am **LORD VOLDEMORT**!" Oh that's hilarious!

"You? Voldemort? HAHAHA!" He can't be voldemort!

"Why are you laughing?"The supposed Lord Voldemort asked me.

"Because ***HAHA*** You ***HAHA*** Don't ***HAHA*** Have a nose!" I managed to sputter out

"Yeah well... Your, Your ears are lopsided?" He probably tried to make it seem like a statement but I knew that it was more like a question. Trying to move my arm to whipe away a tear of laughter that had fallen out of my eye I noticed I was tied- No not tied- duct taped to a chair. This of course made me laugh harder.

"Well at least I have a nose!"

"Um guys you do realize that this muggle image thing is up and we can see Potter's family and they can see us." Hey that guy that's talking has blond hair. I wonder what that thing over their in the corner- HEY! I can see my MUM!

"HI MUM! I LOVE YOU!" I shouted at the top of my lungs. What is she doing inside a box? How did she get in there? "OMG! MUM! Half of you is not their." I shouted the first part then stated the second part. I saw Mum turn and look at one of the people's with a mask on. It's shaped funny.

"What did you give him? He's acting like he's drunk, or high." High? I like to fly high, but I'm, trapped to a chair.

"Hey Mum guess what? I met Voldemort today, AND he has no nose. Then he made fun of my ears, which I don't get because his look like they came from a monkey, a gorillia to be exact, you know gorillas like to pick their nose- Speaking of which I saw Justin pick his nose one time and it was gross because it was all slimy. Slimy reminds me of grease, whisch makes me think of professor Snape- Oh he's standing right behind you! tell him I said HI!" My voice was cut short when something sticky went over my mouth.

That was mean I ws talking to my mum. How would they feel if I did this when they were talking to their mum's! I don't think they'd like it very much either Hey theirs dad. He has some dirt on the side of his nose.

I have a lot of spit in my body. maybe I can get rid of some through the sticky stuff on my face. EW! It's rolling down my chin!

Hey the guy with no nose is talking. I don't wanna listen. I'm gonna go to sleep and hopefully when I wake up the gut will have gotten a nose, because right now he doesn't.

**Soooo... If you read this could you please review... I don't care what you say I just want to know if I should post more chapters of this stupidness... Thanks!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Don't own ANYTHING!**

Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow.

"Ouch! Hey that hurt! You should at least give a person warning before you rip duct tape off their skin! Crackers! Didn't your mother teach you manners!" I asked 'Voldemort'. I don't think he is, I mean come on! Voldemort has a nose!

"Ugh do I have to explain my past to you AGAIN!" I looked up at him with a look of disbelieve on my face. "My mother fell in love with a muggle, he left, I was born in a muggle orphanage, I went to Hogwarts, hated my father, hated muggles, and here we are today!"

"Yeah suuure that's what happened." I said sarcastically.

"Your being mean!"

"Says the guy who needs a nose job."

"Must you bring that into this! If you don't shut up, i'm gonna- Why is their a stuffed purple gorilla on my bed?" Whoa! OMG their is!

"HEY! THE GORILLA DOESN'T HAVE A NOSE EITHER!"

"HARRY!" OMG! Dad is stuck in a box! Stay calm. Stay calm.

"AHHHHH!" Did that come from me? Nah, it was to girly to be coming from me. I am waaayyy to manly for that kind of scream to take place in my lungs.

Voldie placed his hands over his gorilla ears and glared at me, while I gave him an innocent look. Putting my attention back to my Dad.

"DADDY!Howdidyougetinabox!Iwannabeinaboxtoo!Itseemslikefun!huhdad?CanI?PLEEEEEAAAASSEE!" I think I said that all in one breath. I wonder how long I can hold my breath. I'm gonna try it! 1-

"Harry could you please repeat that you said it too fast. What are you doing?" 6, 7,8,9, 10.

"HARRY! Your turning purple stop holding your breath!" Jeez! Mothers! Whoa wait a moment! I'm turning purple- Dangit now I have to start all over!

"MOM! You made me lose count! Go into the fridge and eat a box of crackers!" 'Kay here we go again! 1,2,3,4...

Couple Minutes later

104,103, 104,105. Oh look blackness! Maybe it wants to play a game! I know we can play Hide'n'go seek! I'll hide first! OMIGAWD! THE DARKNESS IS TAKING OVER!

**Please review on the stupidness that has taken place today... Give me your comments question's and Ideas please!... I just sounded like my Language arts teacher ~~ Bad thoughts, Bad thoughts!**

**Thanks**

**~Someonesbaby987 **


	3. Chapter 3

_**I OWN NOTHING**_

"-shorts, are you goth?" I asked. **(No offense to goths!)**

"Sure sure." He said Non nonchalantly. His nose buried deep in a book.

"YOU ARE! That's why your always wearing black. Why not wear pink I think pink would really bring out the color of your eyes." HAHAHA, I just imagined what he would look like in a toto! Ew Moldie is reading again. I'm so bored. They removed the duct tape with rope and it itches. They are EVIL! EVIL i tell you.

"Here Potter drink this the other dose is wearing off." Lucy **(Lucius Malfoy)** put a glass to my lips. I took a sniff and clamped my lips shut.

It doesn't smell very good. I don't want it.

"If I untie you will you drink it?" I nodded my head yes yes I would. I see some markers over on their on the table and a very blank wall. I felt the things that was binding me fall off. I took the glass a downed all of it in 5 seconds. Lucy took the glass and disappeared.

I stood grabbed the marker. Looking at it I tried to read the writing on it but it looked like gibberish. It said pernemt karmer. Who cares what that mean! I uncapped it and started doodling on the wall. After about five minutes I got bored and put the marker down.

OH! I have to pee! I wonder where the potty is here! Oh look a door I wonder where that leads too. Oh I'm out side. A tree! I can pee their!

While I was doing my business, I noticed a strange creature looking at me. I stared back at it. With my business finished i stepped out of my pants but pulled my spider man under wear back up. walking over to the creature I noticed he was very scary so I turned around and ran back towards... HOLY MOLY! IT'S A MANSION! Which door did I come out of?

I Choose the one on the right. Walking to it I opened it and walked in. He theirs a lot of short ugly people in here.

"OH! Are you master's guest? You must be! Your shirt is awful dirty. Take it off Tipsy will clean it for young master!" One of the short ugly people said to me. She came over to me and yanked my shirt right off my body. CREEPY!

"You scare me, how do I get out of here?" A different ugly person pointed to a door across the kitchen. "Okay thanks." With that I was running down the hallway.

**Voldemort's POV**

"Um Master I don't mean to disturb you but where is Potter?" Lucius asked me. Did he just say Potter is missing. Looking up from my book I looked around the room.

"THAT'S why it was so quiet in here... WAIT! How did the little monster escape, I mean I was here the whole-" I never finished that sentence because Severus had burst into the room. I glared at him for interrupting me.

"Sorry Master but Potter has been seen running down the hallway in his underpants." Harry Potter, a boy 15 years of age, running around in his underwear.

"Wheres my camera? This would make great black mail." I said standing up from my chair.

Walking out of the door I saw a flash of black hair in my peripheral vision. Turning to look at it straight on, I saw Potter in nothing but spider man underwear! Raising my camera to take photo's I smiled a menacing smile and said "Say cheese, Potter."

**Please review**


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